when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
