Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize