I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
