I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We need to rekindle our bromance
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
