Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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