i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
