lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
