Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry yaonlyliveonce hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

Fav 15 3084 1291
share tweet
(812): View more from Indiana

Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time

Fav 6 3286 1154
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing

Fav 6 3210 1125
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.

Fav 14 1116 3192
share tweet
(949): View more from California

In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.

Fav 33 6757 2563
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat

Fav 2 1283 800
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.

Fav 6 3002 1309
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.

(512): View more from Texas

Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.

Fav 4 2368 790
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(316): View more from Kansas

I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.

Fav 0 23 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT