have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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