I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize