Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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