Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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