He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
