btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my sisters under your porch take her home
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
