My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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