I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
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you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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