There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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