Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
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When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
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You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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