I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize