the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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