There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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