who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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