How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
