I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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