u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
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