Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Vodka?
Forever.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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