I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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