On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
