the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
