Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
