Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Even the bartender felt bad for me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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