Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
