guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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