$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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