Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
