i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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