you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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