Betty ford says i'm here all night
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
