four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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