Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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