So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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