My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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