He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
