I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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