It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
