Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
