is wine microwaveable?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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