that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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