Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
