you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Two words: blizzard sex
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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