Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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