I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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