Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
