There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
