I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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