You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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