he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
