what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
