When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
