PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
