my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
