When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
