I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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